Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka.
Reply
Monthly Archives: August 2010
The Weekend That Was
Here’s some overdue stuff.
Location: Kellie’s Castle, Coffee Bean, TGV, Michaelangelo’s, the crowded mind.
~*~
Sometimes,
you fall off a cliff,
and life hits you in the face
when the right people leave
at the wrong moments.
But Zwei was right,
we don’t focus enough on the good stuff.
Like how funny it is
when random people
reminds us of the right things
at the right moments,
and become the right people along the way.
And how the right people
make us do random things
at random moments,
and they too, turn out right.
Some things change your life forever,
and so do some people.
Some leave imprints, others leave voids.
Mine was changed,
in many unexplainable ways,
over the weekend that was.
And the days just kept coming anyway.
Hush, The World’s Watching You.
Every morning, I put on the jug kettle to boil some water for coffee. Normally, there will be plenty of water left sitting in the jug after I’ve made my portion of magic potion. Most of the time I’d throw the water away the next morning and boil a fresh round. After all, I prefer drinking distilled water from the dispensing machine. The funny thing is, nowadays the jug kettle is empty every morning. I don’t think evaporation happens that fast in a closed container either. Another weird thing is that each time I leave my dirty cup on the sink to be soaked, it’s cleaned the next time I check on it. Every. Single. Time.
I’m more amused than freaked out, really. And I really don’t mind the fact that someone’s drinking water which would have gone to waste. I live with 10 other people in the house, and I barely know their names. It’s the Ramadan month and that makes it harder due to the time differences at this time of the year.
Today, the same thing happened, no surprise there. I looked around and saw a moth sitting still on the wall. Grinning to myself, I wondered if the moth saw who finished my water, and who cleaned my cup for me. Maybe it was the same person, I don’t know.
And maybe I didn’t want to know, either. I’ve been so busy and stressed out with school lately that I find this mysterious routine rather comforting every morning. The unusual became something usual, like a checkpoint in a fast-paced video game.
Truth is, I’ve been aging since the day I came back to campus. Being in my final year, undertaking new responsibilities, and dealing with all the changes in the people and environment around me - I had to swallow my pride, move on, learn, teach, adapt and grow all at the same time. I’ve never felt more overwhelmed with the sudden surge of new faces around me, and yet, sometimes I’ve never felt more alone.
I spoke about the Spot a couple days ago and I haven’t had a chance to spend time in mine for a while now. I miss the days when I could just hop on a bus and head downtown for a cup of good coffee. Or wake up really early just to catch sunrise and watch the water sprinklers come to life.
I miss watching the world spin on its own, because now the world’s watching me instead. I’m not kidding. The world has the most intruding pair of eyes I’ve ever seen.
Later on in the evening as I was coming out of my room, I saw someone pouring the water from my jug kettle into her bottle. And proceeded to wash my cup.
I smiled. For two minutes I saw the world spinning again, and I had nothing to do with it.
And it felt good. =)
Phases of Faces
Everyone has a Spot.
You know, like a park bench, a corner, a hammock in the backyard, under the sheets or just the very spot we’re at right now. It’s a place where we stop and let the World spin on its own for awhile. Doesn’t matter how sociable we are, or how many friends we have, the Spot is usually a solitary place, a space for one. Sometimes it’s black and white, sometimes it’s filled with colours.
But it’s always Safe, always Familiar. And regardless of how crazy things are outside, everything makes Sense in the Spot. Yet, at the same time, our Spot doesn’t always make Sense to others.
So they usually walk on by, leaving us unnoticed just as how we hardly notice them either. On Rare, special occasions, we do get a kindred Soul or two who stop by and take a seat next to us. And even though they’re Strangers, they emit a certain kind of warmth that we wouldn’t mind sharing our Spot with them.
They don’t always stick around for too long, as Nice as they are. Sometimes we become Friends, sometimes we become Lovers. And sometimes we become Strangers all over again. It’s a Funny cycle, both Happy and Sad at the same time. One minute we could be having a jolly good time of Laughter, and the next we get that dose of awkward Silence.
However, people who do share those moments with us often leave very significant, permanent imprints in the Heart. So that next time, if they do come back, our Heart welcomes them for their footprints are just about the right size. It’s the Phases of Faces that leave lasting impressions deep within.
That’s when we look up, give Thanks and wish them well…
…and quietly observe the World from our little Spot once again.
Dear Mom,
When I look back, ever since I’ve started blogging I actually dedicate an entry to you every year on your birthday. I am not the most expressive person, or daughter, but we both know there is something about writing that encourages me to say more. This time, from the corner of my hostel back in campus, here’s what I want to say.
Mummy, you don’t get enough credit for the things you’ve done and for the person that you are.
We used to think and joke about how life would be for you if you hadn’t met Daddy. For one, Ko and I wouldn’t be here today. You were young (ok lah, still young somewhat), you had dreams, and you had everything in your possession to fulfill them. You’re one gifted lady, you excelled in school and was given the opportunity to go overseas to further your studies, which was a rare feat for people of your generation. But Grandpa would not allow it, so off you went into the working world instead. Even then, in the work force, you were a blessing to many.
I enjoy listening to the stories you brought home from work. I listen in admiration each time you spoke about how you solved the problems at work and how highly your boss thought of you. I loved visiting you at your office because I saw people respecting you, and constantly sought you for advice. You were the one who taught me how to use the computer, all my Excel and Word skills that my friends are impressed by came from you. Because of you, I wasn’t afraid to explore new things on my own – I was assured that the computer would not blow up if I pressed the wrong key.
And even when you’re home, you’re a First Class Mom. As your children we mostly get what we want, but we were also taught by you on how to earn the things we yearn for. There are times when you would be very strict and disallow us from getting something we want, but whenever it’s something we need – you will never hesitate nor think twice. Even if it’s tight on your pocket.
You also have the ability to detect something amiss even when we don’t say anything. I could never tell a lie (because you’d detect it immediately), and because of that I gave up telling lies entirely. Like you, I treasure honesty the most in any relationship.
You’re also always concerned that I may be shortchanged by the people around me. But I think sometimes you’re not given your fair share of the pie too. You always give, but you seldom take. Your life has been dedicated to your husband and children, but I know that you still have dreams you’d want to fulfill, if possible. And I know that if you set out for it, even now, you’ll achieve it – because that’s who you are, you’re a fighter, a lover, a giver, an intellect all rolled into one.
You’re my Supermom.
And no one makes apple crumble pie the way you do.
Mummy, I love you, and Happy Birthday.